You are so perfectly perfect!

Twilight, chapters 15-17.

I will give chapter 14 about as much attention as it deserves.

“You’re so dreamy, I want to know everything about you”.

“I’d love to tell you in my most arrogant and mocking tone”.

Moving on.

No one in this whole damned book drinks coffee

It’s just unnatural.  Not one person.  Not even tea.  It’s ruining the reality for me.

And that is the most interesting thing I can think of to say about Twilight, chapters 11-13

Nothing happens for two whole chapters.  And 13 is great for the fluff factor of anyone who is hanging on all this drippy “romance”.  The use of scare quotes is intentional, as I still do not believe that this is romance, rather the beginnings of a tragic stalker/abusive disaster.  I repeat, being followed and watched every moment of your life by your boyfriend and lying to your parents about it is not romantic.  If your boyfriend is doing this you are being stalked by a very troubled young man.

Edward and Bella are “out” now.  They can walk to classes together now and eat lunch together now and not scootch far away from each other in biology now.  There are these painfully annoying expositions about video days in biology, and I remember those days of watching movies, but I never spent them painfully aware of the boyfriend next to me that I couldn’t touch.  Wev.  Certainly not my biggest complaint.

The Game of Cat and Mouse

Twilight Chapters 9 and 10.

So, after the rescuing incident, I find Edward even more creepy.  Having read his description of having hunted Bella down, I am more than convinced that he is controlling.  He is that guy who has to be in control of everything.

This fact is confirmed by his frustration at not being able to read Bella’s thoughts.  He is exasperated at the extra effort he has to put forth to find out what Bella is thinking, and what she is doing, where, when and w/ whom.  So sorry that stalking your girlfriend is so bothersome for ya, there Ed!  He really is that guy, the one who is not used to not being able to get his way due to his gifts (usually looks, charm, but in this case, mind reading).

OK mzbitca…

I read through Chapter 6 (I am a fairly quick reader, and this is in no way a difficult read).  It’s extraneously wordy, and obviously written for a YA audience (though, I found HP easily more involving).

That said, I don’t hate Bella.  She is a bit whiney about her small town life.  She is bookish and smart.  Good for her, but a little less than willing to stand up for herself.  Being obnoxiously clumsy myself, I would laugh at her self description of being the same, but it is over used as an excuse to be down on herself.  The scenes from PE, though, are amusing…but in the first several chapters she seems like your average high school girl.  It feels like the author went to a lot of trouble to toss in some feminist road flares to earn some street cred…maybe it’s just me…

Is Bella written intentionally w/o personality, except for the part where she is a little harsh to all of the people who are so nice to her, despite her many claims to have difficulty fitting in?  She seems to be a bit of a boy magnet, and strikes me more as the type who wants to be invisible, despite being very well liked.  This reads very much like her journal direct from under her mattress…complete w/ all the mundane details…

The exchange at the beach b/t her and Jacob upset me.  Even though she admits it (to herself), she is being manipulative and unfair to this boy.  She says she could easily be friends w/ this boy, so I don’t really care for the way that she treats him during this exchange.  Also, the description of how she attempts to flirt w/ him is pretty funny, in that it feels forced in description.  Meyer is trying a little too hard here.

She is obsessing over this “boy”, but she is a teenage girl.  I remember what that is like.

I still find Edward a creepy stalker boy.  The kind who toys w/ you, and thinks he is being cute by trying to convince the nice girl that he is really the cute bad boy.  The description of him dragging her to his car after her near fainting incident is a little much.  Inside Bella’s mind, she is sure that she couldn’t escape him if she wanted to.  I am uncomfortable w/ this helpless imagery, it is too much like any type of assault that any young girl could experience at the hands of a young classmate.

I can’t say it enough, this behavior isn’t romantic, it is controlling and obsessive.

ETA: And then I got to this part: “I wanted nothing more than to be alone with my Perpetual Savior”.

*barf*