exactly that

Posts tagged ‘assholes’

They don’t go away…

I had a high school bully. He followed me around, yelled things at me, made lewd comments about me and what my then-boyfriend were or were not doing, threw things in my hair, and made my life kind of a living hell for quite some time of my Senior year of high school. To add insult to injury, I was, of course, a Senior and he was a Freshman, so I was additionally humiliated. I attempted to ignore him, because I had been long taught that if someone is bothering you a la your little brother then you should just ignore them and they would go away. This idea did not work with my little brother, and it didn’t work with Andrew, my high school bully, either*.

I did, of course, tell people. The lunch monitor in our cafeteria, who only had to see him flash his charm, and then I was the one who got the talking to for swearing at him when I would finally break under the stress, or told to, of course, ignore him, or to move tables, ignoring the fact that I had sat at that table for quite some time before he settled in to start bothering me. I told several teachers, and eventually the principal. The principal decided the best course of action was to pull us both in his office and talk to us, and I am certain it was necessary to bring up Andrew’s father’s golf game or whatever relevant nicety was offered to him. Me, I had no local businessman father to smchooze with the principal, so I didn’t stand a chance. With a smirk and a wink I kid-you-not Andrew was told to knock it off, and we were let go, and not two feet outside the principal’s door I was told that I was “in for it now”.

The last day of school for Senior’s couldn’t arrive fast enough, and I dreaded that cafeteria every day. The set of emotional issues that I was harboring in my childhood weren’t helped by the fact that Andrew had set his sights on me for whatever reason. Before he decided that I, and my then boyfriend who bore a lot of the abuse as well, was a viable target for his bile and vitriol I didn’t know who he was, other than the twin of a girl who played in the marching band with me.

Much like Phoebe Prince, and others like her that we have read and heard about this year, the people whom I begged for help and then gave up on, knowing they would do nothing, did exactly that. Nothing. The last day of school for Seniors rolled around and I kissed my school and most of my town good-bye. Were that I could have done some things better or more nicely, but a lot of years of therapy later and I know that I just had too much baggage from too many layers of abuse and disappointment that I was hauling around with me.

And sadly today things don’t fare much better for our children in schools. But even more surprising to me, is that those of us working in social justice is that things are hardly better online. Internet bullying is hardly a concept that is new to any of our eyes and ears. Many of us are familiar with the concept of the internet stalker, and at this time when Facebook is under criticism for its horrendous disregard for user privacy the thought of internet bullying is even more worrisome.

But heartbreaking to me is the way that we as social justice advocates are willing to stand around and allow this to happen to each other. I am not even talking about how big sites, like Feministing allow their writers and commenters to disenfranchise and abuse marginalized voices. I am talking about how people will sharply criticize in dishonest ways, and then stand in faux surprise when their critiques are taken to task. To the point that they become down right condescending, and don’t even bother to mask their insults. Or, how people offer intentionally dishonest criticisms of others in an effort to further personal agendas against someone again, and again, and again to the point that some of those people have not had to shut their blogs, or as in the case of my friend s.e. smith, close it to comments in order to avoid the constant abuse.

Bullying is real. It is hurtful. It is awful. It kills people. Let me repeat that. IT KILLS PEOPLE. And if I may use the recent vocab lesson that I so graciously received to my drug addled brain from Feminist Review recently (no, I am not linking there, if they thought Google was enough to go on, then so do I) as a jumping point, I will offer that if in fact more feminists or social justice activists, not just those speaking from the marginalized “contingent”** spoke up then I think that people might feel disinclined to abuse and bully us as often. I think that we were less tolerant to allow the bullshit we see happening to these marginalized voices when we are able to step in and say something then maybe we wouldn’t find the loss of spaces where marginalized voices are centered, because contrary to some self-important opinion not all safe spaces are echo chambers. Spaces that advocate for the listening to of the voices oft ignored are not in fact circle jerks. They are rather an attempt to bring to light the voice that is lost in that atta-boy pat you on the back meeting between that high school principal who plays golf with your abuser’s father. You needn’t be worried about centering the voices of people who might possible be racist or transphobic or homobigoted or ableist because the net is completely full of that voice. If you are actually interested in this discourse that everyone is crying so loudly about then how about S-ing TFU and L-ing to the voices that everyone keeps trampling over? Huh?

But not everyone can safely speak up in these spaces, because obviously it has repercussions. My high school bully found his second wind after I went to the principal, and believe me I never tried anything so foolish ever again. When people tried to tell me there must surely be two sides to that story, I can assure you there was not. I never knew Andrew before the first time he cat called me and told everyone at his lunch table that I was giving my boyfriend blow jobs in my car. Sometimes to speak up is to set yourself up for more abuse. Like Anna said, ignoring it doesn’t work. Launching the contingent isn’t ideal (even when that isn’t what we are doing), because that will inevitably cause us our own personal backlashes, so what do we do now?

Some of the best learning experiences and most meaningful friendships I have found in a long time have sprouted out of places like Shakesville and FWD, safe spaces, those so-called echo chambers. FWD/Forward has been one of the most positive experiences of my online life. What people don’t see are the things that happen behind the scenes (and admittedly due to my 13 hours of time zone difference I don’t see a lot of it) and a lot of that is the bullying that takes place, the shit storm of people who are all up in arms over our attempt to make it a safe space, not only for the community there but for us as well. No space is ever entirely safe, and people will never be fully pleased with the results. Those people have become as important to me as any real life friend I have ever made, as some of you who read my blog and have formed similar friendships with me know, Bloglandia friendships have a way of being just as important as Meat World friendships, and then some. I am fiercely loyal to them, my co-contributors. To hurt them is to hurt me. I will not tolerate people who openly bully or hurt them. I will not participate in work with you if you foster an unsafe space with a bully to them. If you hurt them, do not come to me for harbor.

*No, as a matter of fact I don’t feel the slightest bit bad for using his real name. This kid made my life a living hell. I was AFRAID to go to lunch. School bullying is A REAL THING. It isn’t just “kids pick on kids”. It hurts. It causes real pain with real scars that takes real time get over. Ass wipes who feel no remorse over causing that pain for shits and giggles do not deserve pseudonymous privilege at my blog. I might reconsider if the jerk seeks me out and apologizes after all these years. I am easy to Google, as I can see by the hate Google hits I get to my blog.

**I would like to note, as lauredhel pointed out, that at the same time the “Evelyn/Evelyn” review went up at FR, Mandy contacted some of the FWD/Forward staff about providing content for FR, ensuring that many of us would see that review. Her position that we engaged in some kind of “organized brigade” is dishonest at best. I also have heard that other contributors to FR have received final versions of their pieces from editorial staff before it was published, so Natalie’s claim that “I didn’t know those links were there” is disingenuous, I believe. Apparently they don’t need the readers or the writers having “over 150 contributors”. The whole gig seems suspect to me. At this point with all the shit sandwiches being handed out I don’t know if anyone over there can be believed or if I am about to be handed a smallpox blanket if I comment again.



It is very likely that you have all read the story of the very unfortunate woman, Torry Ann Hansen, who was done wrong by the very deceitful Russian government who was so nasty to her. The poor dear, Torry Ann Hansen. All Torry Ann Hansen wanted was to be a very good mum. See, Torry Ann Hansen is very kind, and wanted to take a nice displaced Russian boy into her home and give him love and cookies and smiles and hugs. But that isn’t what happened.

See, they lied to Torry Ann Hansen! They gave her a broken boy! He wasn’t right! He was just wrong and didn’t fit Torry Ann Hansen’s life properly! How was Torry Ann Hansen ever to possibly love this boy when he just was so not right?

So, Torry Ann Hansen did the only thing that she could do, given the unjust circumstances that befell her.

Torry Ann Hansen had her mother, Nancy Hansen, do some internet investigation, bought a ticket, packed the kid up on an airplane, and paid some dude to pick him up in Moscow. The dude walked the kid to the Education Ministry and dropped him off at the door.

Torry Ann Hansen is just the victim here.

Let’s forget that a boy, a seven year old boy, whose birth mother was an alcoholic, has lived in and probably suffered a little bit of neglect, in an institutionalized orphanage. Let’s forget that this boy will probably never forget that this woman, Torry Ann Hansen, promised to love him unconditionally, as parents are supposed to love their children — and adopted children are supposed to be loved just like biological children unless I missed some memo — and his most recent memory of parental sentiment was “you are broken, kid, so I have to return you to the manufacturer”. Or close enough, because that is how Torry Ann Hansen has treated this boy. As if he is a broken iPod or something.

Where are all of the records that show that she took him to doctors and therapists and counselors to get help? Where are all of the records from the home visits from the social workers who check up on adoptive families that show that there were attachment issues? Because you better believe that there are programs that help assist families like Torry Ann Hansen’s with these problems. As part of the fun package deal of adoption.

Oh, there weren’t any, because strangely, they moved, and the agency had no forwarding information by which to contact Torry Ann Hansen after their January home visit. For all they know Torry Ann Hansen started beating that boy after that first home visit and moved to hide from them.

Where are this boy’s school records? Surely a teacher or a school administrator could tell someone that he was having behavioral problems. They would certainly have notified someone that he was having trouble adjusting to his new life in the U.S. That is what school teachers are trained to do in situations like this. Was he even enrolled in school? Because he was certainly school aged! They had him for months, and he had no U.S. birth certificate. Why?

But at the root of all of this was that Torry Ann Hansen, in the absence on any evidence to the contrary, is just a jerk who gave up on a child who may or may not have been difficult. We have no idea if he had problems, because they didn’t seek outside help! All we know is that when shit got tough Torry Ann Hansen gave up. Instead of seeking out resources and trying to offer love and support to a child at a crucial time in his development Torry Ann Hansen cast him aside and gave him the very clear message that something is wrong with him.

That will live with him a long time.

Instead of offering him love she offered him rejection and a swift kick out the U.S. And in light of all the resources that could have been available to Torry Ann Hansen if she and Nancy Hansen had sought them out and not suspiciously moved away, characteristic of an abuser who is trying to hide what they are doing to a helpless and voiceless child who has no agency of his or her own, I feel no pity at all for Torry Ann Hansen.

Because, you understand, no matter what this boy says, it will be his word against Torry Ann Hansen’s, and in this country we have a horrible habit of not believing children when they speak. At least, we believe that children are always coerced when they speak, and that they can never talk of their own free will. Children remain voiceless victims who continue to speak to us, because no one really gives a damn what they say. A child’s voice is never stronger than the adults who speak against them. I hope that it isn’t so in this case.

And yes, Nancy Hansen, what your daughter, Torry Ann Hansen, did most certainly was child abandonment, and it was child endangerment. How do you know that the stranger you hired was genuine? What were his credentials? What reason did you have to believe he would do what you paid him to do once he had your money? Was he an unaccompanied minor guardian with the airline? No?

Torry Ann Hansen never saw Artyom Savelyev as a child. Not from anything we can see. Torry Ann Hansen saw him as something to try on, to alter (she tried to change his name to Justin, ya know, b/c those funny foreign names are so tough to say! Amirite?). He didn’t fit.

So Torry Ann Hansen sent him back.

Those Who Yell the Loudest…

A while back I was having a talk w/ The Guy.

See, there were some related things that coincided with this little thing that happened where this celebrity you might have heard of, Amanda Palmer, together with her partner created this project, Evelyn Evelyn, and my co-blogger at FWD/Forward, Annaham wrote about the problematic issues involved.

There was a wee bit of fallout.

Then, Amanda Palmer, because she is a celebrity, and sometimes celebrities, who aren’t bloggers, and who get big platforms due to their fame and getting paid for their work and stuff, was invited to appear on this Australian talk show. If I was a big celebrity like Amanda Palmer and not a blogger I would probably talk about my upcoming projects and plug my tours or talk about my fabulous engagement to my super cool fiancee who writes charming children’s books…or maybe pick a cause that is important to me (in interviews, Daniel Radcliff likes to talk about Gay Rights, because he is totes awesome), because sometimes celebrities can be thoughtful and deep and think about the nuances of social justice or something important with their spot in front of millions of viewers.

But instead, Amanda Palmer thought this would be the time to talk about how MEEN that little blogger was (well those bloggers, b/c she couldn’t be arsed to remember any one blogger’s silly name), the one who wrote the big nasty blog post about her SOOPER COOL project, and then have a good laugh with the other folks on the show…oh and make fun of the same feminists who rallied behind her when her record label was being a bunch of arseholes.

Instead of just going about her day and promoting her (albeit deeply problematic new work), she chose to pick on a blogger, someone who put thoughtful work and time evaluating the problematic themes of a piece of work Amanda Palmer was working on and didn’t get paid for it. She laughed at her on national television. Pretty cool, Amanda Palmer.

And I asked The Guy: Why do people who hate/dislike/are annoyed by “little” people so much continue to follow them, read them, watch what they are doing, or apparently even talk about them on TV? Why don’t they just ignore us if we are so insignificant and irritating? He hugged me tightly and said “Because the people who yell the loudest have the most buried within them and are the most guilty”.

Damn it I really love him.

But it didn’t stop there!


Now Amanda Palmer hates on Lady Gaga, and at least this time she isn’t picking on a disabled feminist blogger who doesn’t get paid for her work (but really, no one should be bullied, b/c bullies are jerks), but instead she thinks that Lady Gaga is a sell out. Or, not ironic enough, ya know, like the Klan.

Cuz that is some funny shit right there…y’all will excuse me if I don’t laugh. But just in case you don’t get it, she understands.

See, not liking someone’s taste or style is one thing…like people who don’t like That Coffee Company’s lattes and think it is a crime against humanity to put steamed milk and flavored syrup into coffee (I can take it both ways), but when you start telling someone that their taste in such thing is wrong or just R-O-N-G, then you really need to step back and self examine why it is that it is so important to pull that woman’s feminist cred b/c she has an affinity for M.A.C cosmetics or pictures of D&G shoes…wev. You are perfectly entitled to hate Lady Gaga’s music or find it catchy or think she is the worst thing to happen to pop music since Aqua (Shut Up! I am going to go DL some Barbie Girl RIGHT NAO!), but why does it have to be a judgment on humanity? Also, I don’t think I have seen a celebrity lash out at another so vehemently before…(unless you are Eminem, but that is kind of his schtick…). Don’t you have better things to do?

It seems that the people who yell the loudest…the ones who insist that people are doing things that they haven’t done, the ones who use a position of power to inflict hurt, abuse, or otherwish ass hattish behaviour on to other people, especially vulnerable people (like Annaham), or who would rally their allies around them as if a personal distaste for something makes a certain pop star (who might possibly have more current success) inherently evil, and that making judgments about that pop star’s appearance WHEN YOU BUILT YOUR FEMINIST CRED ON HOW IT WASN’T FUCKING COOL TO DO THAT REMEMBER THE REBELLYON!!!1!ELEVENTY really have some things they should examine…

Like some unfuckingchecked privilege.

Further reading, with a trigger warning for very graphic images, but I think the point is made.

And also.

Trust Me

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A couple of weeks ago I asked my PCM for a referral to OB/GYN to replace the IUD that I had to surrender over the summer. She and The Guy and I have been talking for some time about the options and realities of having another child with my condition, and the answer we came up with is that we will wait for a little longer and see if I am still doing well with my current regimen.

Usually these things take weeks to schedule, but they called the next day, and I had my referral appointment on the second day. No matter what your history in the OB/GYN clinics you have to have counseling in order to get birth control through the MTF (all the ones in which I have been treated anyway), and the idea is that you get to talk to your OB/GYN about all of your birth control options, what you want from your birth control, take his or her advice, and decide on what is best for you. That is the theory, anyhow.

Some people (like me) have an idea ahead of time what they want or what is best for them. I, for example, due to my medical history and ongoing condition, am not able to use a hormonal birth control. Because of that I know that the copper IUD (ParaGuard) is the best option for me. Also because of this, I often read up on ParaGuard and IUD use in women, and try to keep abreast of any information regarding IUD usage, risks involved, etc. The IUD has such a bad reputation from so much misinformation that I feel the need to stay on top of this. Some would say this makes me a big smarty-pants-know-it-all. I say that sometimes a woman can’t trust that her doctor is going to take her word at face falue, and in the off chance that her doctor isn’t as awesome as mine she needs to be prepared. I am privileged to have information available at my fingertips.

I did not realize that my appointment would not be with my usual kick-ass OB/GYN, Dr. K, the same one who saved my fallopian tubes and life this summer and who promised to give me a shiny new IUD whenever I was ready for it. Not panicking when I saw the face of a woman I didn’t know I sat down as she introduced herself as Nurse Midwife V and told me that she had been looking over my file. Great. Maybe she was doing her background reading too, because I really tire of bringing every doctor up to speed constantly on my condition when it is right there on the computer screen for them to see. I don’t have a bunch of degrees and I can keep up with the required reading.

Before I had even the chance to say anything she told me that I was “not a candidate for an IUD” because of my ectopic pregnancy, and that she was not going to refer me for one. When I started to say that I understood that there were some risks she cut me off and told me that my pap was also past due and kept talking. I tried to assert myself past her obsession with people rooting around in my vagina, to let her know that I was aware that there were risks involved with the IUD, but that I knew that not only was what happened to me rare, but that I knew it was rare that it might happen again. But she wasn’t having any of that. She kept right on talking like I wasn’t even there.

I told her that my regular doctor had already said I was fine to have one. She responded by saying that it usually took weeks to get in to see him, as if this was supposed to deter me somehow. I also tried asking if the new ACOG regulations had been implemented yet, thinking this might distract her and get me closer to my goal (also, I am in the lag area none of them know what to do with, being 29, soon to be 30) and all she would say was that my pap was past due. Is it? I don’t know. I had a normal one in late 2008. I am in a mutually monogamous relationship…

When I left I told the front desk that I would no longer allow Nurse Midwife V to treat me. I am currently in the process of filing a formal complaint against her. What shouldn’t have happened here was having everyone from the desk staff to the NCOIC (that’s Non-commissioned officer in charge) tell me how nice Nurse Midwife V is and how everyone likes her so much, and that she is well known for being very good at what she does. That might well be true, great. My experience is that she was condescending and rude, and didn’t help me with my medical needs to my satisfaction. I think that people forget that sometimes, that doctors and nurses are also here to provide a service for us. I have a medical need, and she didn’t meet it. I shouldn’t have to settle for that. No matter how nice and great she is to work with. I also shouldn’t have my experience erased and dismissed by everyone in place to help me when things go wrong for me. That is not good patient advocacy.

I am rather privileged, however, in that I was able to make another appointment, and I saw Dr. K the next day. Had I been someone who had to drive a long way to a clinic, I might not have been able to. Had I had to pay out of pocket for this visit, or if my insurance limited the amount of OB/GYN visits or birth control counselings I was allowed per year, I would not have been able to. Had the travel cost me money I did not have, this would not have been possible. Had I not had the type of job I do where I set my own hours, I might have had to miss work. These are the kinds of things that women face when they come up against providers like Nurse Midwife V, providers who don’t want to listen to women, who won’t talk to women about their own bodies and medical histories. Providers who don’t trust women to be actively involved in their medical processes. Providers who can’t be bothered to involved women in the partnership that should be their own medical care, especially when it comes to their reproductive health. As it was, having to go back a second time was already taxing on my spoons, and stressful, because now I have be on my game. Suddenly I have to come in educated on something that my provider should have known the first time.

Thanks to meloukhia’s indominatable Google-fu I took in the information I was looking for, backing up what I had already said, that an ectopic pregnancy did not preclude me from having an IUD (or, that a previous ectopic pregnancy was not a contraindication for an IUD). Dr. K was impressed that I was so prepared. He told me that he had heard that information, but he himself had been so busy that he hadn’t had time to read any of the journals for himself. He told The Guy (who went with me this time, because they like to banter back and forth in Korean) that I should come in from time to time to keep him updated on current women’s health, and said he wished more people came to him so informed. He said that whomever told me that I couldn’t have an IUD was wrong. I was prepared, but I shouldn’t have had to come in as if I was fighting a war.

Two weeks later I have my IUD.

Nurse Midwife V didn’t care to ask why, after having one IUD failure (as rare as they are, b/c they are pretty much the most effective form of reversible birth control out there, with a fail rate of less than one percent), I would want another IUD. She didn’t bother to find out anything else in my medical history that might affect my decision to make that very personal choice about birth control, like that I am on medication that might have contraindications with hormonal birth control, or that previous specialists had determined that hormonal birth control is a migraine trigger for me. She simply asserted her own opinion (as wrong as it turned out to be) and called it a day. But all of that information is in my medical record if she cared to look. The same record she said she reviewed when she made her initial judgment.

And now, I can’t trust her.

Dishonest Critics

Lieutenent Commander Marilisa Elrod, a presumably white woman in a White Navy uniform appears to be driving a passenger boat.

Lt. Cmdr. Marilisa Elrod, shown here in Hawaii recently, has a rare distinction: as a doctor and undersea medical officer, she has become submarine qualified in a service that excludes women as crewmembers. Elrod says it would take effort and changes but believes women can successfully serve on submarines.

People have opinions, and they are entitled to their own. People are allowed to disagree with whatever is going on, policy changes, new programs being created…wev. Part of the Constitutional Right to Free Speech in the U.S. means that people are allowed to criticize those choices and opinions. Free Speech does not mean free from criticism, I get that.

There is, however, a line to draw in that criticism where the critic is deliberately dishonest in order to draw attention purposefully to their side. There is criticism and then there is lying.

The Center for Military Readiness strikes again, this time horribly misconstruing what a woman sailor said in a Stars and Stripes interview in order to make her look like a silly Uppity Woman. That is about as dishonest as you can get, and it shows the CMR as the dishonest and ridiculous hacks that they are.

They saw this news article: (emphasis mine)

A sailor once asked Lt. Cmdr. Marilisa Elrod where she got the twin dolphins sewn below the U.S. Navy lettering on her uniform. She could understand the sailor’s confusion — he had probably never seen the insignia on a woman before.

I said I borrowed them from my husband … just to tease him,” said Elrod, a doctor and undersea medical officer based in Hawaii.

Then she explained how she studied for more than a year and passed her qualification test aboard the USS Key West before earning the distinction of being a submarine-qualified sailor.

To a submariner, those dolphins mean that the sailor wearing them knows enough about every function of the boat to save it in an emergency.

Elrod is one of 12 submarine-qualified women in the Navy, officials said.

… and turned it into this hot mess: (emphasis all fucking mine)

The article quotes Lt. Cmdr. Marilisa Elrod, a doctor and undersea medical officer who likes to wear her husband’s dolphins because she is qualified to ride on the submarines.

See, they don’t really care about women, as they claim. They care about controlling women’s lives and really go out of their way to insult real women and their achievements. The Center for Military Readiness, headed by my BFF Elaine Donnelly, who hasn’t spent a day in uniform and can’t attest to what it means to earn a qualification for making a proper rack let alone being on a submarine, cares more about pretend babies that don’t exist than actual women who would benefit from having career paths opened to them.

The Center for Military Readiness mess goes on to purposely confuse what is pretty damned clear in the Stars and Stripes article, suggesting that the article never clarifies what kind of accommodations LCDR Elrod had on her submarine stints, but in the article she says that she shared an officer’s State Room. It’s not unclear at all. She is discussing in the article the measures taken to accommodate privacy for her on board a submarine. Some basic reading comprehension is all it takes to grok that. It also purports that LCDR Kunts, an actual submariner, doesn’t know shit about what he is talking about. So, no respect for actual sailors, either. I guess civilians are the go-to on all things military, huh?

Whoever “editor” is at CMR should really try to get their facts straight. Maybe talk to a few people who have been on board submarines (like, I dunno, maybe even an actual woman like LCDR Elrod) and try to find some data from this decade to make their case.

Integration of women onto submarines is going to happen. It is happening. It has already happened. People at the Center for Military Readiness and other critics need to wrap their head around that, and stop spreading lies and misconstruing facts to damage progress.

Photo: from Stars and Stripes online

Observed — Nestle Family Boycott Edition

Some of you may not be aware of the deal with Nestlé.  There has been a boycott going on for quite some time, that goes beyond formula (I just learned that myself, I had no idea that it went beyond their horrid formula practices).  Let me state something up front, that even though I am very much a pro breastfeeding mum, this boycott has nothing to do with what you feed your baby, be it formula or breast milk.  None. This is about a company’s refusal to comply with WHO codes.  But read the linked info.  That will catch you up.  I’ll wait.

You back?

I don’t have to be a virtuous foodie, but I do believe strongly in fair trade, and better than fair trade and the role it plays in the lives of the people who provide the materials for foods that we have the privilege of enjoying.  I don’t knowingly partake in patronizing companies that willingly refuse to comply with fair trade or earn their profits on the backs of slave labor.  I don’t need chocolate that badly.  It can be done in a fair way, I have worked for a company that made that commitment.  And then some.

So this week, 26 October through 01 November (coinciding with Halloween) is a week long boycott of Nestlé products (the whole list here).

I don’t think it was unintentional that every Nestlé owned product that was in our local commissary was on sale (and just the ones I could remember, including the bottled soda water I used to drink before meds made it taste like crap and I found out it was Nestlé owned).  Not just on sale, but way, way super marked down like it was going out of style sale.

You can sell that shit for five cents a bag.  We aren’t buyin’ it.

Important Announcement

feministcatThis post brought to you by Teh Feminist Kitteh Collective.

PS:  I use adult language.  Nyah.

If you read this article, and the only response you have is:

“Japanese Bitch”


“Stupid Slant Eyes”

and are called out on your shit, and all you have to say is:

“OK, I am not a racist…”, and proceed to defend your racist and misogynistic bullshit, while failing 100% to see how you are, in fact a racist and misogynistic ass hole, then I can not help you.

The linked article is awful.  That poor father.  I can not express enough how I ache for him.  I would be beside myself if that happened to me.  Is that a shitty situation?  Yes.  Do I think that something needs to be done to fix this?  Absolutely!  And as soon as we can make that shit happen.

Is throwing around gendered slurs and othering an entire race of people, or using hateful and bigoted language against a specific nationality going to fix a damned thing?  Nope.  Not going to happen.  In fact, it’s probably also not going to help matters, whatsoever.  In an international situation insulting the other person is probably not the way to go.

I’m just sayin’.

But, hey, keep it classy.

Oh, also, shit like that will get you “unfriended”.  Especially if you can’t even have the courage to own your bigotry.

But don’t worry.  You won’t be lonely.

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