exactly that

Here is a video description I did up for Fatboy Slim’s Weapon of Choice with lyrics. I will probably send it to Anna’s transcriptions stuffs page soon, but since I just did some free work here, I need to get some actual work done now. I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to link away to it or re-use it w/ attribution.

Video description for Fatboy Slim’s “Weapon of Choice” (for the linked Dailymotion version):

Green screen w/ the following: Fatboy Slim: Weapon of Choice [Next line] Director: Spike Jones [Next Line] Album: Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars

Scene opens in a spacious lobby, what appears to be in a luxury hotel. The floors, walls, columns all appear to be marble. There are large planters with trees and large green plants in them, and a luggage cart is abandoned in the background. In a large, plush chair sits well-known U.S. actor, Christopher Walken, a presumably white male in a light brown suit and tie. He is slightly slouching and perhaps a bit bored. His overcoat and briefcase are next to him on the floor. It is silent.

Slowly the music to Fatboy Slim’s “Weapon of Choice” rises into the audible range of Walken, and he perks up, and looks in what we are to presume is the direction from which the music is coming.

It appears that it is coming from a cart of the housekeeping personnel. Walken looks into the camera as if to share a moment of empathy, looks away, sighs, and then starts bobbing his head with the music as it swells slightly.

He slowly rises from the chair, stands straight and tall, takes two steps away from his chair, then busts into dance along with the music right there in the hotel lobby. I mean, Walken has some moves. The man twirls and spins around. The camera angle switches and he pulls some tap dancing inspired steps towards it, and jumps in front of a massive set of doors between brass columns and throws up some jazz hands to get them to open as if he is some kind of Jedi. He then dances backward through them, reaching over to hit the bell on the desk in time w/ the music. He dances back into the camera w/ a look on his face that I can only describe as a characteristic “Walken Stare” so I apologize for that, and the camera angle switches again.

Walken grabs a conveniently located abandoned luggage cart, jumps aboard, spins around, hops through and jumps off. He runs off as the camera switches again. He is now by the escalators! He hops aboard those too! While riding up the escalator he bops from side to side with the beat making great faces. About two thirds of the way up he starts to strut down in time w/ the music, then going faster in a faux-stumble. Camera switch!

Now he runs and jettes through an absurdly long hotel lobby, leaping quite agilely in ways that make me jealous, ending it w/ some very nice spinning, and a no-handed cartwheel, ending standing straight up and looking we the viewer right in the eye for a moment before moving on.

He does the nice jette thing again, only sideways, leaping up on a table to upset some papers and magazines that some housekeeping person is going to be upset about having to arrange again after this dude just danced through the freakin’ lobby! He stops and tap dances on the table a bit in a full view shot. We get a nice view of Walken’s face, w/ his tongue between his teeth, because it looks like he is having a good time just before he leaps off the table.

Now he is doing this thing that always creeps me out a little, w/ his hands in his pockets and leading his steps w/ them by jerking his pockets forward. Almost like a pelvic thrust in slow motion, leading into an almost “Thriller”-inspired zombie-bop. He busts a move and escapes the camera again!

He is now twirling through a carpeted room with mirrors on both sides, making it look like a fun-house full of Walkens! That would be fun! He dances his way across the room, narrowly missing a chaise and lamp, and as the camera catches him again he is in a long marble hallway dancing his way down. About halfway down he pauses, looks side to side, and reaches over to point at an elevator button in time w/ the music that magically lights up. Super Walken Powers! And he dances his way aboard the elevator.

The elevator opens and out he comes! Twirling away! He bounds over the railing! Oh noes! What is he doing?

But it is OK, because Walken can FLY!

He zooms around the room like Peter Pan, pointing one way and then another, gently bouncing off of one wall to zoom another way, and pausing to make his “Walken Face”.

Now he is floating over a wall-sized mural of sailboats on a blue sea, and he breathes deeply, raises his arms, and zooms forward, over a long table, does a loop-de-loop in the air, before landing, taking a deep breath, looking around, and walking back to his chair.

[Lyrics by Sing365]

Break, eject
Eject, eject
Break, eject
Eject, eject

Break, eject
Eject, eject
Break, eject
Eject, eject

‘For they catch ya Chainsmokin’ (Word)
‘For they catch ya Chainsmokin’ (Word)
‘For they catch ya Chainsmokin’ (Word)
‘For they catch ya Chainsmokin’ (Word)

‘For they catch ya Chainsmokin’ (Word)
‘For they catch ya Chainsmokin’ (Word)
‘For they catch ya Chainsmokin’ (Word)
‘For they catch ya Chainsmokin’ (Word)

‘For they catch ya, ‘For they catch ya,
‘For they catch ya, ‘For they catch ya,
‘For they catch ya, ‘For they catch ya,
‘For they catch ya, ‘For they catch ya,

Don’t be shocked by tone of my voice
Check out my new weapon, weapon of choice
Don’t be shocked by tone of my voice
Check out my new weapon, weapon of choice, yeah

Listen to the sound of my voice (aah…)
You can check it on out, it’s the weapon of choice, yeah

Don’t be shocked by the tone of my voice (aah…)
It’s the new weapon, the weapon of choice

You can blow with this
Or you can blow with that
You can blow with this
Or you can blow with that
Or you can blow with this
Or you can blow with that
Or you can blow with us

You can blow with this
Or you can blow with that
You can blow with this
Or you can blow with that
You can blow with…

Walk without rhythm, it won’t attract the worm
Walk without rhythm, and it won’t attract the worm
Walk without rhythm, and it won’t attract the worm
if you walk without rhythm (uh), you never learn, yeah

Don’t be shocked by the tone of my voice
Check out my new weapon, weapon of choice

Don’t be shocked by the tone of my voice
Check out my new weapon, weapon of choice

(Can’t forget to load it)
Before they catch ya Chainsmokin’
(Can’t forget to load it)
Before they catch ya Chainsmokin’
(Can’t forget to load it)
Before they catch ya Chainsmokin’
(Can’t forget to load it)
Before they catch ya Chainsmokin’

You can go with this
You can go with that
You can go with this
Or you can go with that
Or you can go with this
Or you can go with that
Or you can go with us

You can go with this
You can go with that
You can go with this
Or you can go with that
Or you can go with…

Organically grown
Through the hemisphere I roam
To make love to the angels of light, yeah
and my girl
I guess you just don’t understand
It’s gone beyond bein’ a man
As I drift off into the night
I’m in flight

Break, eject
Eject, eject
Break, eject
Eject, eject

Break, eject
Eject, eject
Eject, eject
Eject, eject

Break, eject
Eject, eject
Break, eject
Eject, eject

Eje,Eje,Eje,Eje,Eje,Eje,Eje,Eje,Eje,Eje,Eje,…

Just FYI: it took me 45 minutes to do this so that people who wanted to enjoy this media could do so. Free work. But it’s worth it, because accessibility shouldn’t be an option. It should be standard.

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