This is the story of a girl…

who has never liked avocado.

Ever since she said “Ew, what’s that green stuff?” and someone answered “Avocado,” (That’s a Gilmore quote right there, youbetcha!).

I think the last time I had eaten it willingly — which is arguably as to my willingness — was my 21st birthday, when someone brought me a vegetarian sandwich from Jimmy John’s. I was so trashed, having already left the contents of my stomach on my best friend/host for the evening/complicated relationship person’s doorstep. The fishbowl full of “Rough Sex” putting me over the edge where the potato gnocchi just wasn’t staying down.

“You aren’t 21 until you puke!”.

That sub sandwich, from which I always scraped the guacamole and mayo (and come to think of it, I can’t back up that it was a vegetarian sub. Some of the details of the night are fuzzy) was eaten as is, quickly. I hate avocado. But that sandwich, in my own words, “saved my life, it was so fucking good,” and I didn’t really give two rips about guacamole at the moment, and I am pretty sure that my stomach didn’t either when it turned me 21 for the third time that night.

I was told I had a fun time.  :D

But a few weeks ago, The Guy had a sandwich that had some foul green slices of the crap on it, and even though I maintain that it has no scent of its own, I caught a whiff of something…and wanted a bit but it was tuna salad, and I hate mayo on tuna. It is like Elmer’s glue on perfectly good fish…

I got a guacamole recipe from someone, to try out, because I can’t stand the store bought or restaurant crap (see above statement). It is more garlic, really. I played around with the flavors, tweaking it here and there, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t make some concoction that I found myself eating right off of the frackin spoon.

Last night I turned three avocados that were about to turn (we got them on special, and they were still almost two dollars a pop) into a big batch of guacamole.

OM NOM NOM.

So, this story of a girl is the inexplicable story of a reformed avocado hater. I even ate it in a sandwich with canned chicken (yes, I was once teased because I enjoyed kissing someone who routinely ate canned chicken, as if it was a foul demonic substance…like scrambled eggs — yes I have food issues — but now I eat the stuff myself) and spicy ranch. Avocado with bacon. Guacamole and chicken tacos (in that order). Avocados are now a constant on my shopping list…and I still feel weird every time I pick one up and squeeze it for ripeness…

Personally I blame the anti-seizure meds that made me hate Coke Zero. My taste buds are all messed up. I’ve started craving things that I used to hate, and now can’t stand things that I used to like. Even Guinness tastes funny, much to my chagrin this past New Year’s Day.

But avocado is definitely the strangest.

Life altering guacamole recipe available upon request.