exactly that

When Words Fail…

There is a club…

Yes, I heard Christina say it on Grey’s, but she is right, and I am going to bend it a little here…

It’s the Dead Parents Club.

The club you get into when you lose your parents before you expect to. I know that sounds rather obscure, but I think inside most of us have that idea of when that time in our life is going to happen.

Most of us don’t think it is going to be before they will get to meet their grandchildren.

Most of us don’t think it will be before we get our first college report cards.

Most of us don’t think it will be the same year we lose our best friend from High School.

Or before you graduate from High School…

Some of us believe we will be prepared for it, and some of us know that we never truly will be.

But it is a club, a really really shitty club.

A club you don’t get to be in because you don’t know it exists until you are in it.

You don’t get recruited. You just are waiting one moment and the next everything is different.

The membership dues suck, and the benefits are crappy.

No matter how many times people tell you that “It gets easier with time”, it doesn’t.

You forget how much it hurts, and then suddenly you also forget that you can’t call home to share something exciting and you forgot that it’s been ten years…

and suddenly you are at a club meeting again…

It’s the Dead Parents Club.

I am so very grieved to have to welcome four childhood friends into it this weekend, because their mother was part of my growing up process a wonderful person. She will be missed. I am certain not more than by any of them.

My love and thoughts with all of you as you grieve and heal. Time and miles have separated us, but you are still in my heart, all of you (though some of you were quite small).

Please, do remember to grieve…and when the time is right, to heal.

Though, I don’t know that it ever does heal. Kinda like being stabbed w/ a Morgul Blade. Not even Elf healing can mend it completely.

Welcome to the club.

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Comments on: "When Words Fail…" (5)

  1. My mother was in that club. And then I and my baby brother were. You are exactly right, especially with this, “You forget how much it hurts, and then suddenly you also forget that you can’t call home to share something exciting and you forgot that it’s been ten years…”

  2. the club is not nice coming in to but as sucky as it is once you are there at least we have some good support from members who made it there before we did.

    and it never does get easier. my dad’s mom when she was 93. a pretty good age to get to. but here was this one moment after the funeral i just looked over and he looked so sad.

    please let your friends know that while the club sucks we have a pretty good support system out here

  3. the club is not nice coming in to but as sucky as it is once you are there at least we have some good support from members who made it there before we did.

    Some of the best that I’ve met, in Meat World or Bloglandia… they make the anniversary dates pass more… tolerably.

  4. My wife is in this club. Her mother died years before we met. It doesn’t get easier. All I can do is remind her (and y’all) that there is no schedule for mourning. There is no time you should be over it. No matter what certain people say.

  5. I followed from Shapely Prose.

    I’m in this club two years now. The thing about it is that it seriously can feel like a literal club. Everyone I knew who had lost a parent offered to talk to me about it, and I took them all up on it, because I wanted to know what it was going to be like. The answers were much darker and much more honest than anything anyone else told me.

    And I appreciate all the time that they gave it to me straight.

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