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I have felt that power quite a bit as other people in my life, both Bloglandia and Meat World have decided that not only do Words Mean Things, but that if they decide it is so, words can be twisted to suit purposes. Words can be spread w/ half truths or no truths to those who either have no access to that truth or don’t bother with that truth.
I have discovered the harsh reality of being part of something large and wonderful. When you are part of something that huge that grows so fast and is received so well by so many it is only expected that there will be a negative backlash. It hurts to see people that you respect take the negative at face value. It hurts to watch your friends torn apart across the cyber-world, knowing that those words used against them are not only not true, but gross assumptions and not being bothered. Assumptions made by snap judgment. And it hurts worse to know that the best thing you can do is sit quietly and hold your truth like a glass orb in your hands as if it contained a great mystery.
I have discovered that people in the Meat World will go to great lengths to tear you apart by using the truth against you as if you have ever contested it in the first place. They will flex the power they have to try to hurt or destroy you by sneaking and skulking around in your personal space or home while you are vulnerable, collecting what they think is “gotcha” evidence, but what is really only proof of what you maintain to be the truth. Two versions of the truth, one that could be cleared up if anyone gave a damn to ask you in the first place. But, sadly, no. It is way more fun to run off, using their perceive position of power over you, to bend laws and regulations to do what they think they have a right to. Twisting the truth is always more fun than reality. Again, you sit w/ the truth carefully printed out cleanly in fresh words as bright as blood on snow, waiting for the moment to present it.
It’s the same as people who will use personal information gained when the pretended to love and care about you to hurt you and spread lies about you. They also use it to hurt your loved ones. Wev. Eventually that scar heals, but others can always see it because it has toughened the skin in that place.
There are lies that cost you friends and lies that cost you money. Some hurt worse than others, but you hold onto the truth and you carry on, knowing that you are a good person, and that somehow you will come through it, stronger, and able to make better decisions about who you let into your life in the future.
Because I am experienced with being on the receiving end of the fallout of Lies. I have a whole lifetime filled w/ chasing lies and half truths meant to hurt me, lies meant to protect me, lies that chase me out of my home and lies that leave me alone, burdened w/ that whole world on my shoulders and not a soul to believe me.
Because, cops don’t lie, you know.
And I know that people believe that if you see it in print or in email or on a blog (hell, I write this w/ a bitter taste of irony in my mouth) that it is the truth.
Because words mean things
even when it is a Lie.
Sometimes Lies Mean Things too. They mean more about the Person telling them than the person holding that Mystery in hir lap.
But Truth Will Out.
I know this, and I believe this.
I have to.
The choke marks heal and the wounds of the words fade; eventually those who are meant to see truth read the words, and your heart heals from the pen wounds.
The right truth speaks.
And sie finds hir voice.
Before I close up, let me dedicate this song: