exactly that

No, I am not a Christian (I was in what feels like a previous life).  I don’t see how that is really relevant to my wanting to preserve my life by not “waiting a while to make sure”.  I am not even sure what that means, because this can really only end in one of two ways.  If I were still, I am fairly confident that it wouldn’t change my thoughts on self preservation.

My doc and I, we chatted.  A lot.  He, who had an impressive number of pretty degrees and Army training certificates on his wall, seems to think it is best if we deal with this right now, since waiting could in fact cause irreparable damage to me and/or my fallopian tubes.  No offense, but your lack of OB/GYN training doesn’t lift the validity of your opinion in my mind’s eye.  I agree with doc.  I have no desire to wait around and see if this thing will or will not kill me.  It has violated my space, my body, and threatened my life.  It has declared war on my body and I see fit to fight back as if my life were on the line, which it is.  The doc is my Admiral, and we have, together, decided that this is the best thing to preserve my life, and my fertility, which I hope to be able to use again one day.

So, I smile and appreciate your concern and thank you for your well wishing and promise of prayers, way too polite to cause any kind of public commotion.  Our kids get a long and play well together, so let’s leave it at that, shall we?

XOXO

OYD

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Comments on: "Dear “Well Meaning” People…" (13)

  1. Ackkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

    It’s those kind of Christians that make my skin crawl when someone says “bless you”. Seriously people real women’s lives are more important than unviable clumps of cells. Would they say the same thing about a brain tumor (another unviable clump of cells). I think not.

    • Ya know, because if I just “wait a while and see” I am sure that a nice brain tumor will grow into something great and useful, like a conscience or a sense of humor, or something else that I traded in for my feminist card.

    • But I should also note that these are genuinely nice people that we actually enjoy talking to and letting our kid play with their kids. I didn’t want to cause a scene by defending myself, but I think they were taken slightly aback that I was so calm and casual about the fact that I have to have an abortion because of this thing. Like I didn’t think about it. I can only imagine what it must feel like to have an abortion for something other than this exact situation, and know why it is that women feel embarrassed to talk about it.

      It is something that made me really enjoy the My Abortion blog, because I think that women need to feel that they can talk about it. And the blog creator is right, it is so wrong that someone looking for a blog to read and write about their feelings are met with horrific propaganda when they Google for such a thing.

  2. Even “genuinely nice people” can also be assholes. And people who want to second guess your decisions that you’ve talked over with your doctor are that. :P

    Just my opinion, though!

  3. I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee what to expect when you’re aborting. Awesome blog. Wish I had done it, but the last time I had one was pre-blog days.

    Perhaps I’ll become a straw feminist and get myself knocked up so I can have an abortion between being hairy-legged man hating feminazi slut and shopping, and then blog about it. Or not. I don’t think I can become a make believe creature, no matter how hard i try.

    I am sure these people think they are being “well meaning” and kind. But not having the intent to harm doesn’t mean someone isn’t causing harm. If that’s true for racism and other forms of sexism, it’s true for this too. If someone tells a girl not to walk alone at night or she might get raped, their intention may not be to be a rape apologist, but they still are being a rape apologist.
    And if someone tells you to wait and see if god is going to magically turn a clump of cells into a viable pregnancy so you’ll be blessed, the they don’t believe that women
    get to control their own bodies.

  4. I suppose I need to say that their “genuine nice”ness doesn’t mean that I don’t fiercely disagree with what they were saying to me. I thought that went without saying. I am trying to show that I am not simply demonizing people. If we hadn’t been in such a public place I might have reacted differently, but the check out line and the PX didn’t seem the most appropriate of places for a discussion on why I believe I should be in charge of my body, and not some anthropomorphic being.

  5. Oh I know- there is a time and a place for for everything and check out lines usually aren’t the place for anything other than quelling the “I wants” of small children. I’m more bitching on your behalf than bitching at you.

  6. (((OuyagDan)))

    I hope Friday goes smoothly for you.

  7. pizzadiavola said:

    Sorry these folks said that to you (I mean, seriously–there is no good about an ectopic pregnancy! It’s not going to magically turn out ok if you wait long enough!). Good luck with the treatment, I hope it goes well!

  8. Glad you’re okay,… and may those idiots rot in the hell of their own creation!

  9. * big hug*

    Sorry I’m so late chiming in on this…I’ve been distracted.

    Fuck those asswipes. Good intentions or not.

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