Not that my opinion matters, me, sitting here on a low trafficked feminist minded blog, w/ my fake disease that I just need to buck up and get over (this will be explained in a mo’).
But, a while back I took Jezebel off of my blogroll. Stopped reading them. I stopped following links to their site b/c I couldn’t in good conscience give more traffic to their judgmental snark on shit they know nothing about. The day I read the article where they proudly exclaimed that Fibromyalgia, and illnesses like it, were fake was the last proverbial straw for me. That was the friendly part, too. The comments exploded into an ableist marathon of harsh judgements and shaming. Everything from FMS to depression were poked fun at, and anyone who spoke up or got in the way of their fun was heavily mocked. Enough is enough. I, and others like me, live daily w/ the actual people in our lives who are supposed to help us deal w/ our bodies and chronic conditions not believing us and not caring one rip about the quality of our lives. We don’t need flip-floppy feminist wannabes appropriating feminist language when it’s convenient to tell us what is going on in our bodies and making us feel bad that we sometimes find comfort only in the form on a pain pill or new medication. Our doctors do enough of that.
Then, there was the matter of the woman who, in a moment of confusion about something that happened b/t her and her partner wrote to a site, anonymously, seeking advice on dealing w/ what was a horribly poor judgement on her boyfriend at best, and incredibly painful rape at worst. The ladies at Jezebel were quick to pick up that tidbit and run w/ it, and once again, the comments on the insensitive article ran wild, turning this woman’s experience into their own fodder, ripe w/ shaming at her refusal to call it rape and dump her boyfriend. When the woman wrote them and asked them to print a few corrections, she was dealt w/ poorly to say the least, and her feelings on her own personal matter were quickly dismissed in the name of page hits and “sorry, we are done posting for today, so you will have to wait for your truth”. Some of these same people also being staunch supporters of the term “gray rape”. *shudders*
These are only a couple of examples of why I loathe the site, and only read it occasionally if insistently pointed to it and even then if there is no other link to get the same info. Even the Red Queen warns me if she is linking to it. They, while not claiming to be a feminist site, are back and forth, often using feminist wording to poke fun at feminist issues in a judgmental and most un-feminist way. I can get my celebrity fluff at a better place. They aren’t a feminist site, I get that, even though some of the bloggers self identify as such, as well as many commenters, and even though big feminist blogs link to them almost daily.
So you will understand how it pains me to defend them. I would rather chew on glass.
Shaming a woman for not reporting her own rape at 17 is unforgivable. Slut shaming, and otherwise blaming rape victims for their own rapes is equally unforgivable. Bad form, Double X Magazine (and nice othering, BTW w/ the name. Not every woman has double X chromosomes). Not a great way to come out the gates.
Need we remind you that rape isn’t about sex. It is about power. Need we remind you that the only difference b/t a person who has been raped and person who hasn’t is the presence of a rapist. Rape happens to women in short skirts, or women in baggy sweats. It happens to women who have been drinking too much, and it happens to the most stone cold sober. It happens if you are a Woman of Color, or white. Rape happens to the cis-gendered and trans* alike. Rape happens if you have been walking alone at night in unlit alleys, and it can happen in your own car, or your own home, by a stranger or by someone you have known for years. The only factor they all have in common is the presence of a rapist.
So, before you go hanging neon signs over the splinters in the Jezebels’ eyes, and there are many to point out, perhaps you should take a look at the huge lumber mill in your own. I stand alongside Jill, et al, who feel that this article was in poor taste. I just stand in my own place, knowing that Jezebel won’t hesitate to shame others who aren’t in line w/ what they deem acceptable but also knowing that it doesn’t make them fodder for slut shaming and victim blaming. Shaming and attacking women hurts women. All women.
We all get enough of that from the Patriarchy, thank you very much. We don’t need more women pissing in our own sandbox in the name of feminism.
PS: Ablism IS a feminist issue, fuck you very much.
ETA: Somehow I managed to break the link to the Double X article when I originally published. Oops. My apologies for any confusion.