exactly that

My erasure from history…

I just finished posting a gabillion and a half photos today, which took up a lot of posts at my other home.

I have noticed a bit of a disturbing trend in my tendency as the family paparazzo, and that is that I am very much afraid of being on the business end of the camera.  Since I have put on weight over the years I have become less and less likely to be a part of the pictures I treasure so much.  I love to take pictures, blog them, share them, and scrapbook them.  I can’t get enough pictures.  But as I look back at the memories I want to treasure I find myself absent from them.  I am more comfortable behind the camera than I am in front of them, so when I want to share a memory I find that I am not part of it.

Part of my new Body Acceptance Crusade, which entailed correcting my weight on my driver’s license and not being afraid to talk about the numbers has been about not waiting to live until I get into a body I think I should be in, but rather living in the one I have now is all about accepting who I am now at this moment in time.

So, I’m fat, and I don’t really like the way I look in pictures, but I am working on it.  I don’t want to be absent from my prized memories.

Here’s to living in front of the camera as well as behind!

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Comments on: "My erasure from history…" (2)

  1. I have noticed a bit of a disturbing trend in my tendency as the family paparazzo, and that is that I am very much afraid of being on the business end of the camera. Since I have put on weight over the years I have become less and less likely to be a part of the pictures I treasure so much. I love to take pictures, blog them, share them, and scrapbook them. I can’t get enough pictures. But as I look back at the memories I want to treasure I find myself absent from them. I am more comfortable behind the camera than I am in front of them, so when I want to share a memory I find that I am not part of it

    same here – I wish I could adopt your attitude about it.

  2. Ugh…I wish I could fully adopt my attitude!

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