exactly that

No, I didn’t die…

I have finished TWO lengthy books in four days (over 1300 pages).  Now the series is finished, and I am a little sad about that.  I may just read them all over again, b/c it has taken me two years to finish them.  They are the first books since Harry Potter that have sucked me into what I call “book world”.  You know, that place you get when you are so engrossed in a book that the world around you falls away and you are in the story?  That’s my book world.  

I love following Phédre’s adventures and trying to solve the intrigues before she does (which I seldom can).  It took me a while to settle into reading from Imriel’s point of view, but before long I was completely caught in it and it swallowed me whole like Phédre’s did.  I have fallen in love w/ Terre D’Ange and all it’s inhabitants, and Alba and all of it’s.  I’ve grown so fond of the characters, and even loved the damnable Melisand Shahirizai.  I love that the women in her stories aren’t just strong women, but really strong and deep characters.  The wikis and amazon descriptions don’t do the books justice (the wikis are incorrect on so many plot details, and the Amazon review makes Sidonie sound like a helpless princess, which she is anything but), not in the least.  They are so ridiculously good that I can not find anything to read that suits me after them.  Believe me, I have tried.

Also, I have been grieving a loss a little.  No, no one has died and things at home are as seemingly perfect as ever…I am just dealing w/ the loss of something I have leaned on for almost ten years, and at first I was confused and hurting, sad and crying.  Now, I seem to have seamlessly moved through that and into anger.  It hurts and I think it is part of the growing pains of being a grown up in a grown up’s life.  I think these things have to happen despite ourselves and we have to work ourselves through it.  At this point, no matter what it will never be the same.

And through it I haven’t had the strength to read through my normal reader and see all the really depressing shit that goes on in the world.  I care too fucking much, and the gravity of the feminist blogosphere sometimes weighs heavily on me and I have to step back.  Hopefully before I have to say something like, “fuck yourself, soopermouse, and your armchair quarterback superiority”.  B/c I would hate to say something like that.  And if I had spent much time in the blog world these last few days I would have done just that.


I might be back soon.  I am going to try posting videos and such to keep up appearances.  I have a pop culture thing weighing on me, about a rather unfeminist guilty pleasure of mine.  I was also gonna write about a recent episode of Bones, but Renee beat me to it.  I don’t agree fully w/ her analysis, but I also am still checking some cis privilege, and I think she is spot on for the most part.  There are a lot of things she said that I am totally in agreement.  But, if I agreed 100% w/ everything out there then there would be no reason to reflect and rethink my own POV.

That is that.  For reals, yo.


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