exactly that

Guilt and Fear

And personal attacks.


This has been a heated primary season, that is for damned sure.  It is also becoming a highly tense (becoming?) election season.  Friendships and alliances have shattered during this last year plus, and it is sad and horrible to watch go down.

Something that is not helping this in any way shape or form is the constant fucking shaming that is going on, especially in the feminist/womanist blogosphere over voting.

Guilt and fear, while two incredibly motivating emotions have no place being used to brow beat one another over how best to use your vote.  You can scream at me all day about how a vote for a third party will mean a sure landslide for McCain, or how Obama is the devil and McCain would actually be the lesser of two evils (neither argument I am willing to buy), or throw “Nader Nader Nader” in my face and it will do exactly nothing but piss me off.  It will do nothing to fix the current clusterfuck of a situation we are in here in the Ol’ US of A.  It does not one Sky Bully forsaken thing to fix the wank fodder of economic disparity or stop another bomb from falling.

All it does is make us want to piss in our own sand boxes.  As Rachel said at Tilting windmills (something I know she amended later, but still applies), and as I have mentioned a few times before, kicking ourselves in the shins is only helping the actual Big Bad to win.

Additionally, using horrible and offensive words and calling someone “stupid” “insane” “spineless” or “delusional” b/c of the choice s/he is making w/ their vote is completely against everything I have come to love and respect about the feminist/womanist movement.

I also agree w/ Rachel’s amended statement that disagreement among us keeps us focused on what the goal is and challenges us to see things differently, but I am going to add to that thought.

Being hurtful and shameful in the name of trying to bully someone to see your point is doing nothing to further your cause.  It doesn’t show your side (which could be full of great points), but it sure as hell makes you look like a jerk.

If we want to believe and have the rest of the world see that women are complex creatures, capable of considering and evaluating complex situations and weighing all factors that go into making a decision then we had best start fucking acting like it.

Shaming someone and using hateful, personal attacks (that are ablist at worst, just plain mean at best) b/c of how they choose to cast their vote on November 4th is not a feminist/womanist value.

I don’t think anyone who has been half awake during this election period can pretend to not be aware of how fucking significant this election is for us.  We are all aware of what is at stake, and most of us are doing our damnedest to make the best decision we can.  In the end, yes, we all have to deal w/ what happens in November, but it is still our vote.  Each and every one of us as registered voters have a vote, and no one can tell you (or shame you into) how to use it.  That choice is yours.

And I trust that all of you are reasonable minded people who can weigh and consider the best way to cast it.  It’s not selfish, it’s your democratic fucking privilege.

And we don’t need guilt and fear from shamers to help us make it.


Comments on: "Guilt and Fear" (8)

  1. I don’t think that anybody should be bullied into taking a position. If anything, you should try to get somebody to see your side. The sad thing, which is something that you’ve touched upon a bit, is how heated this election has become and everybody’s opinions have become very strong and pronounced. I just hope that voters can get past labels and realize that this all comes down to issues. The question is which candidate will be better at addressing them and bring the US out of the shithole that Bush has put it in.

    Jose A. Rodriguez

  2. Yes, and right now neither of the Partisan candidates are addressing my issues in a manner worthy of my vote. It is not our job to pander to candidates b/c we are afraid of the outcome of the other. It is their job to find out what matters to us and then to pander to us.

  3. True.

    adlv2006 makes a good point about labels. Labels have been one of most damning things to happen to this cycle. Its not the friggin label that counts. It shouldn’t matter what hip, cool, or “progressive” (that word now makes me want to commit acts of violence) label you carry. What matters is the issues and how they are or aren’t getting addressed.

  4. The thing is that “progressive” doesn’t mean what it has come to mean in the MSM. You are right, the labels shouldn’t matter…but I still consider myself to be progressive voter, and that covers the issues that I want to see. When Obama goes around saying he is progressive, I too want to commit acts of violence. He is not progressive, not in the least. You can not be a progressive voter and not be solid on women’s issues, like being pro-choice, and standing up as an LGBTQI ally.

    The problem I am having is that there are issues on which I am not willing to negotiate, and the choices before me are making it tough for me to find a candidate that has my best interest in mind.

    When people start brow beating me w/ “OMG Roe!!!1!” and “OMG Iraq” is about when I shut down. I am aware of these issues and how the partisan candidates are dealing w/ them…I am not going to let someone who is being all superior and telling me that women’s issues (MY fucking issues, issues that matter to over 51% of the population) aren’t worth throwing this election. Voting against what is best for me and for my daughter is not even negotiable.

  5. Wow, this is what I needed this morning. The dialogue between soopermouse and I has just gotten to the point where I feel deflated. I appreciate this post a lot.

  6. great post. while I may try to make you see my side I’ve never seen the point in denigrating you if all of the sudden I dont get a “WOW ZOMG11!!11 YOU BE SO SMART”

    the point in this whole exercise of ‘murica in trying to form a “more perfect union”, at least to me, is that what makes us great is we have these options.

    i can vote for X, you can vote for Y, and then we can go have a beer. or argue about it or something else.

    i have long postulated (yeah i went to colledge) opinions CANT be wrong. How you come to your and how I come to mine is what it is.

    but trying to use that as a blunt weapon to hit someone else over the head is well just silly. to me anyway

    (hope that made sense:) )

  7. rachelcervantes said:

    Actually, I’m muddling my way through all of this, but doing so publicly.

    Dissent is good. It’s necessary. Vituperative attacks and hatred are not. We MUST learn to disagree and be civil about it. I don’t want everyone to think like me and I often seek out those with differing opinions. Who else can spot and help me evaluate flaws in my logic?

    The major problem, I think, is that there all too often is no room for difference, diversity, dissent. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, I feel a post coming on! Stay tuned!

  8. […] Guilt and Fear « random babble… “Being hurtful and shameful in the name of trying to bully someone to see your point is doing nothing to further your cause. It doesn’t show your side (which could be full of great points), but it sure as hell makes you look like a jerk.” (tags: politics election election2008 arguing blogs communication debate) […]

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