exactly that

it is no surprise that Myspace and Facebook are not overly progressive or that they frequently have questionable or even outright offensive things on them.  i do a pretty good job of avoiding most of it, but some is the advertisements (in my south Canadian accent that is “ad VERT is ment”) are unavoidable, like the wretched bridal ads that i mentioned yesterday, or the disgusting “Sexy Politics“, as mentioned at Feminsting recently.

but my biggest annoyance isn’t the advertisements.  it happens to be a new application that has taken social websites by storm.  it is the “Friends for Sale” or other similar and similarly named applications.  the premise is exactly what it sounds like, you auction your friends off, buy them from each other, and claim them as your “pets”.  the application also sends out messages to your friends telling them just how much you “paid” for them, and invites you to “see how much you are worth.

from Myspace:



and from Facebook:



See?  how much fun is that?  let’s pretend that our friends are objects that we can buy and sell for our amusement!  there is absolutely no problem w/ treating people like property and stripping them of their own autonomy.  is there?  if you think there is something wrong w/ that, then you must just not have a fucking sense of humor!  b/c buying and selling your friends is the bees knees!

get it?  GET IT?

i don’t have tolerance for treating people as objects for fun and amusement.  it is not funny to buy and sell people.  i routinely ignore them, but i am pretty much thinking that i need to be more vocal about my disapproval of such things.  i am starting w/ this blog post.

not funny, Myspace and Facebook.  not in the least.

but i guess i am just another humorless bitch, aren’t i?


Comments on: "i am NOT for sale, FYI!" (21)

  1. “but i guess i am just another humorless bitch, aren’t i?” – If you are, then I am too.

  2. @agree OD, I too hate the ‘how much are you worth’ app. I’ve got better things to do than rate my friends–they already know how much I love and appreciate them.

  3. well this just makes me want to pour a glass if Firefly Wine!

  4. I knew that there was a reason to avoid myspace and facebook. I only just set up an account to promote my blog but find that I have very little patience for it. You are right selling friends is not funny. When we consider that real human beings are being trafficked everyday to allude to this as a form of affection is disgusting.

  5. that, Renee, is the point.

    K8, it’s not even that i have better things to do, though. it’s not about equating the value of my friends w/ how much i think they are worth. it’s the way we seem to think that it is OK to amuse ourselves in a make believe activity that is actually happening to actual human beings everyday.

    i love my Facebook and Myspace b/c it has allowed me to make contact w/ people (like K8) whom i haven’t seen in years, and it gives me a way to shamelessly promote my blog(s), but they are horrible atrocities of disgusting and degrading ads, many of them thoughtless and hurtful.

    and down right now funny.

    and yes, Pido, i will take a glass too.

  6. OK, that was not supposed to be a smiley “K8)”

    it was supposed to say “K8” and be in “()”.

    kinda takes the edge off of my rant. grr.

  7. I saw that that and thought it was the most tasteless thing ever.

    People as pets and property. Where have i heard that before…………….

  8. i just put up notes and blogs at myspace and facebook announcing my disapproval.

    i am sure that will go over like a fart in church.

  9. This matter touches on a subject of personal freedom and freedom of expression with which I’m not very comfortable. Over the weekend I spent a few hours at a birthday party for a friend of a friend. Among them were several people that openly practice polyamory and engage in what I consider to be stereotypical BDSM. Thus I was given introductions that included, “This is my wife, and THIS is my girlfriend,”, “This is Jeff, he’s dating Jim and John,” but the one that stood out was, “This is Frank, he is Jane’s owner.” Over the course of the party I also deduced that they were married, had had one miscarage, had a two month old son, owned the house we were in, and both worked. I consider myself open-minded, and accepting of alternative lifestyles, but my caucasio-centric, conservative, upper-middle class upbringing rails against any such denial of independence, or voluntary acceptance of such nomenclature.

    But who am I to say what two consenting adults may or may not do or say about each other?

  10. i hate all those stupid applications that i get invitations to, facebook and myspace have become so annoying

  11. […] up”, or “it’s all in fun” being arguments for why the shit like I talked about yesterday is acceptable as a form of entertainment.  I am more than tempted to just say “hey, asshat, […]

  12. Kristen said:

    I actually was a dork and took the applet at face value when my MOM bought me. So of course I have been put in my socially conscious place, and feel very bad for having been a sheep and “purchased” my firends. So I am sorry, Ouyang*, I know no one owns you. I hope you accept my apology.
    I feel like a MORON. Oops, and never again.

    *name changed by the Moderatrix.

  13. OH! I don’t need apologies. That really isn’t the point. You hit the point. You thought about it. I was NOT in any way trying to put you in any place.

    You are not a moron. I simply wanted people to think about the kind of thing that this is. You have done that. Job done.

    And thank-you! I appreciate you coming into my space and saying that.

    Come back soon!

  14. Congrats on the Shakesville cross-post. Yeah, I’ve not been to MySpace, but the Facebook buy your friends thing totally creeps me out. It’s like they ran out of ideas for annoying applications to inundate your friends with and decided to go with ultra-creepiness.

  15. I remember when I first got the invite to Friends For Sale. It said something like “Click here to see how much you’re worth.” I felt really insulted and dirty. When did joining facebook become a tacit agreement to prostitute yourself? Thanks for articulating what’s so wrong about this stuff.

  16. Originally, I was more thinking of the app as yet another high-school-type of popularity contest, as I’m sure that’s what the original intent was. In high school I was never one of the popular kids, I was one of ‘those’ kids yet I had fun all the same. My wish to not revisit that scene was my reason for avoiding the app.

    After reading the well-written responses to your post here, I like the app even less. I see the broader scope of why this app is bad and in poor taste. Thanks for broadening my mind.

  17. […] receive a notification that “Some a-hole bought you as a pet.” When I saw the post at random babble on this, I found out that I’m not alone in my uneasiness. There are real people being bought […]

  18. jesshagman said:

    Thanks for your comment. Your post appears in the “possibly related” on my blog as well. I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one annoyed by all of this. I’ve not seen the Friends for Sale application, but it looks like it’s even more annoying than the ads, if that’s even possible. I’m glad to have stumbled upon your blog!

  19. A good friend of mine recently “bought” me and my wife on Facebook. We both had some choice things to say about it. Thankfully, he is still our good friend, and didn’t play the “relax, it’s just a game” card, or else he might no longer be our good friend. In the meantime, I have been trying to explain to him why I find the app so inappropriate (which seems like such an insufficient word to describe it) and in poor taste. I did a quick check of the intertubes to see if anyone shared this view, and voila, found your blog. Hurray! I’ve directed my friend here, in the hopes that your very well-articulated arguments will help him understand why the whole FFS thing is NOT okay. Thank you.

  20. Thanks, Mr. L, b/c I totally feed from positive reinforcement. I did meet a whole ton of “relax, it’s just a game” from this. It actually hurts me that people think this is funny. In fact, I deleted the person who “bought” me from my Myspace b/c he just didn’t get it.

    I am glad that I am not alone in this thinking. It is good to know that there are other progressive minded people out there…shit…just people out there w/ a modicum of decency to realize that it is not OK to treat people as property or to control them.

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