exactly that

i miss fall…don’t get me wrong…i love this island…it surely beats shoveling snow in the middle of october…brrr!  but i miss the changing leaves, the smell of burning leaves and bonfires, jumping in leaf piles, apple picking, hayrides, mulled cider and the whole nine yards…


but i still get all geeked up about halloween.  the kid in me loves costumes and candy and the decorations…sewing my kid a costume…cooking a big harvest meal for my “family”…it is all so much fun and it really gives me so much joy…


the pagan in me gets mixed feelings about this time of year.  i LOVE halloween…it’s my favorite holiday…and someday i would love to spend it in a celtic country…to really experience it the old religion way…


but it isn’t an easy time…wiccans are faced w/ images of green faced hags on brooms cackling and scaring children, or baking them into snacks.  pagans are associated w/ the gory images of slasher movies on tv or w/ drinking goats blood in the moonlight naked or some nonesense like that.  it is really hard to get past the stigma this time of year, and sometimes it makes me want to board the windows on my gingerbread house (i couldn’t resist!).  so much focus is on the gothic or scary or gory that many people fail to see what is really going on here.  they see the blood and guts and broken eggs on houses, and i understand why they may be mistaken about halloween.  my more judgement casting friends are harsh…they call this an evil time of year, even to my face when they know in fact that i feel this day is holy.  they hide in their houses, away from the “evil doers” and the “satan worshiping”.  many of them still believe that this is some kind of devil worship night…i just don’t get it.  many of them don’t even let their kids take part in the fun parts like dressing up, and yet they don’t even try to see past the myths and try to see the history.  (yes…i know the history of trick-or-treating too…and about costumes, i just choose to focus on the fun we have w/ it now)  try as i might, i can’t get them to understand how sacred this day is to me and mine.  i can’t get them to see the beauty and the purpose…some have even told their children that it’s “something miss brandann thinks she has to do” and such.  i wonder if they even know how offensive they are being?  i just want a little religious tolerance.

perhaps i ask too much…

not only do halloween and wicca and paganism have nothing to do w/ satan, but satan is a christian concept.  (even satanism isn’t really about satan…just try reading up on it sometime)  i know that the imagery comes from a pagan god, but that is just another example of how narrow minded and uniformed a lot of people can be.  to call me a satan worshipper or to say i am controlled by the devil in actions is more than offensive…it is ignorant.  let’s be clear…I DON’T BELIEVE IN SATAN!!!  my actions are my own and not the work of some omnipotent being or some dark evil being bent on revenge for exile…good or bad i am the master of my own soul…


halloween is a celebration.  yes, there is a lot of emphasis on the dead…but i am talking about our ANCESTRAL dead…you know, our loved ones who have gone before us!  we use this time of to honor them.  we set dinner tables w/ extra places to make offerings to them.  we invite them to dine w/ us again.

halloween is the end of the year for pagans, and it is also the beginning…the same way that most people observe the end of the calendar year as the new year, we see this eve in the same manner.  it is part of a circle of birth, life, death, and rebirth.  the god prepares to leave this world, and the world goes into mourning at his passing.  b/c he crosses into the netherworld or afterlife or what have you, the gates are open wide, and the veil b/t that world and ours is pulled away for a moment.  those who care to listen can hear and those who are open to it can feel.  night takes over day, and the darkness lasts longer.  this is also a resting time when the trees wither and shed leaves to save energy for the long sleep ahead…the earth rests and makes ready for spring, and the god’s return, when the goddess mother gives birth to him, and life begins anew!

i am not asking anyone to believe what i do, or to convert.  i won’t be coming to your door w/ pamphlets.  i will be taking my daughter trick-or- treating, cuz it’s a darn good time.  i will make an offering to those who have passed…i will say a prayer of thanx for all that has blessed this past year for me…i will carve pumpkins w/ my daughter and we will eat apples cut in half to reveal the stars, and i will most likely spend some time in reflection.  i will make a meal to share w/ my loved ones.  i just want to do this w/o being seen as some sort of freak. i want to show my daughter what tolerance is, but it’s hard when she sees images of what we are trained from childhood that a witch or pagan is supposed to be.  no wonder kids laugh when she tells them that she thinks she is a witch.  (luckily, she has an awesome teacher this year who can explain these things to other kids…boy i can’t wait for the santa story to come up…yes…i catch a lot of shit for not lying to my kid…go figure)


anyone who doesn’t know me, and is just reading this in passing, i hope that you will take from this a thought…that b/f you judge someone that you know…b/f you call this a “fake holiday” or berate someone for calling it a holiday…b/f you teach your children that halloween is just an evil night to be feared…that you might try to read up on it…try to look into the history…look into the culture…and try to learn the beautiful things about this time of year that is special to some of us…




Comments on: "a pagan’s thoughts on halloween" (1)

  1. […] I wrote some thoughts last year on the way some people tend to view Halloween and how it makes me feel.  I still feel a lot of that. […]

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